mindsquirt

In the spirit of Halloween I thought that I would report on the my trick o’ treaters. We had a pretty good showing this year. About 40 in all. For the most part, they were greedy little monsters who showed no remorse as they clawed their way past each other to my precious treat bowl. For the most part, the phrase “trick o’ treat” was just a formality and many of them didn’t even finish the sentence before their mitts were wrist-deep in my candy. Some of the greedy little bastards took numerous candy bars… I usually simply answered with a look of disgust. I tried not to get to upset, because, if you are a fan of Jerry Sinfield you know that candy is the single greatest thing for kids.

“Friends, family, school…These were all just obstacles in the way of getting more candy”

It is basically their only modivation to stay alive. So, I can’t get too mad at them. And if they are going to risk being yelled at by their neighbors, well I guess I have to commend their bravery. I told one kid “just one” and she promptly thrust her hand in and grabbed at least three Hershey bars. I repeated “just one” and she ran off. I guess she knows how to work the system... Good for her.

There was one kid with a “ghostly clown” costume on. It was a bedsheet and rainbow afro-wig. Man, what a lame-o. Maybe she was supposed to be the ghost of that 3:16 guy. I accidentally made fun of some junior-high aged kid for having a pillowcase for their candy bag. I just said “Oh…Pillowcase!” in a fake-impressed tone. I didn't mean to, it just happened.

Lets all share our best and worst costume (this includes adulthood). I’ll start out. I think my best was last year when I went as a knock-off of the cop from Reno 911(somewhere on my blog), and I think my worst was the mummy my brother makes fun of me for. My mom wrapped me in gauze from work and it fell off and I looked like an idiot. You could clearly see whatever clothes I was wearing underneath, so I guess I just looked like a normal kid with a drunk mom. That may tie for when I went as a backstreet boy in college. That was so lame that I am embarrised when i think about it.

Also make sure to report on any reportable happenings when trick o’ treaters came to your house.