Monday, October 30, 2006
Thank you, God
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
The Perfect Undershirt
And I am a very picky bastard. I am particularly persnickety about shoes. I am partial to rockports, merrels, and aisics. Those are the only shoes that cling lovingly to my feet and make me feel feel as though I am walking on Heaven's floor. I think it is very important to have comfortable shoes, I have sensitive feet!
I am very brand loyal once I find something I likes. In the past year (this is entirely true) I have bought and taken back 6 pairs of boots until I found the current ones I have now. And since they are less than a week old I still may take them back. Although I think my current boots have reached a level of perfection that I previously thought was unattainable.
Man's perfect boot:
Shirts and pants can vary, but I am partial to golf shirts in the summer and button-ups in the winter for work. My shirts must have buttons! I have found that as long as these items meet my button criteria, these sort of decisions are best left to my wife. When I go shopping by myself I usually give up early and always ask the nearest female their opinion, which is kind of dicey because sometimes I end up with shirts that don’t fit and have patterns like tablecloths.
Feeling like I have mastered outerware, these days I am on the quest for the perfect sock and undershirt combination. I have already decided that Champion socks are near-perfect, but I need a polyester/cotton blend undershirt because when my cotton undershirts shrink, I look like Brittney Spears with my belly button showing. I have a long torso! The undershirt I have on now is a hearty 2 inches above my belt.
I just made a phone call to the closest outlet mall’s Hanes/Playtex/Bali to see if they carry polyester and cotton blend undershirts. It was funny to hear myself say “polyester and cotton blend” to someone. I felt really stupid. I tried to liven up the conversation by admitting that I was looking for the perfect undershirt:
Foo: Hello. I am looking for the perfect undershirt.
Foo: I decided that it must be a polyester and cotton blend.
(Then suddenly I was talking to someone else)
Different lady: Hello?
Foo: Do you have polyester and cotton blend undershirts?
Different lady: Short sleeve?
Different lady: And this lady, I have to ask her…
I just started here 2 weeks ago…
[pause, some talking to someone else in the background]
I am going to isle 3 and I am going to put my glasses on…
It has 97% V-I-O-S-C and 3% spandex.
Foo: Can you repeat that?
Different lady: 97% V-I-O-S-C and 3% lycra spandex.
Foo: Okay, thanks.
Different lady: I am sorry I wasn’t no help.
Foo: You have been a tremendous help. Thanks.
At numerous times during the conversation it occurred to me that I was taking time out of my work day to call a store to see if they have a satisfactory blend of materials in their undershirts. I am really getting old. I need to save some stuff to do when I am 73. I should have faked an old-man voice so that first lady took me more seriously.
I will make sure to keep you updated on my quest for the most shrink-proof and comfortable undershirt and socks.
Wish me Godspeed.
I was going to end the blog here, but I found a great picture of Coop laughing at something. I must have done something funny. He and I are always joking around about my lack of fashion sense and about how one day, he is going to turn me into a runway model with some of his glamorous outfits.
Coop laughing about my outfit or something.
As if his outfits would fit me. Yeesh, dogs are so stupid sometimes.
The best part of it is that he looks like Muttley, the cartoon dog from those Hanna-Barbara cartoons.
Muttley, the snickering & airborn side-kick of Dick Dastardly
I would suggest that Coop go as Muttley for Halloween, but I am sure he wouldn't be caught dead in that putrid aviator cap and scarf getup. Anyway, he'll go as his idol Gianni Versace like he always does.
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
pictures of alex and whatnots
She is a real charmer. (click on picture to intensify charm)
Here is a nice picture of Alexandra in a sling-thingie on my back. We were walking in the creek behind my brother's house. There is Cooper! (azzagoodboy!) I don't know about you guys, but this small-person-in-the-backpack situation is awefully reminiscent of Luke's training with Yoda on Degobah.
which brings us to this picture:
And, inevitably, this one:
Finally we get to some of Alex's first steps* with this delcious clip. It even has a surprise ending with that glamerous pup Cooper!
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
I missed it, but my wife was able to be with her when she took them!
Yay! I hear she took four or so. she is 10 months old (last Tuesday) so I guess she is right on track!
I will get some on film and post it soon...
Monday, October 09, 2006
My theory is that if you like Dale Earnhart (enough to have a bumper sticker) you'll bet your sweet ass that you voted for G.W. Bush. This is not a political statement. Just an observation.
This is based on my observations in many local parking lots that:
If (one has a pro-Bush bumper sticker) and (one has some kind of NASCAR-themed bumper sticker)
then The NASCAR bumper sticker is either anti-Jeff Gordan or pro-Dale Earnhart (Jr. or Sr.)*
I don't know why this is. In fact, I don't see why everyone hates Jeff Gordon so much.
Anyway, it turns out that instead of finding support for my theory, I instead found out that everyone hates me and I was dealt a such a blow to my self-esteem that I might not ever recover.
Let's move on and forget all of this ever happened...
Last week I was reading Newsweek and read an interview with Newt Gingrich. He talked alot about education and Math and Science and their importance. At some point, he said:
[paraphrasing] "Everyone should just come out and admit that Math and Science are the hardest subjects."
I think I pretty well agree with this statement and I was happy to see a politician not only advocate for science and math, but use such strong language**.
Do you agree with this statment? Take this poll and tell me what you think.***
* Or the classic Calvin decal wearing a "#3" on his jacket, and peeing on a #24.
**This might not seem strong, but in academic circles (or journalists, authors, anyone with a strong lean towards one subject or another) this kind of statement is a sure way to get into a heated arguement with your coworkers.
***We are obviously talking in generalites here. 3-grade math is much easier than 10-grade english. Please don't poke holes in my flimsy poll.
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
You should only be able to vote once from one browser.
UPDATE: I think my question should really be:
Who did you vote for in 2004 (if any) and which of the two NASCAR drivers is your most favorite. If you don't want to participate just say you hate me.
I know this seems stupid, but there is a method to my madness.