Saturday, June 23, 2007

Elements of Style ala Mindsquirt

It occured to me that since I can not write blogs at work anymore, this blog might not be what it used to be. In case someone out there wants to take over, here is a typical breakdown of a Mindsquirt blog:

Witty story generously-worded to seem entertaining. Maniacal, wordy gibberish riddled with spelling mistake after spelling mistake. Blurry or poorly-lighted picture with a caption that under 10% of the audience understands.

One-sentence paragraph for emphasis.

Further details of story in indigent tone to mask any wrong-doing on my part or social ineptitude. Statement of self-righteousness and lamenting as though I have been put-upon. Anger/outrage towards stranger. Plea for the public’s use of common sense. Multiple redundant passages reiterating what I said in the first paragraph but with more cussing and exclamation marks. Careless diatribe about a co-workers's habits that could get me fired.

Example of some scene-making public debacle that inadvertently turns into the second half of the blog. Factually incorrect dialog between myself and another containing gratuitous use of commas and quotation marks.

Third akward segway into a completely different topic containing more factual errors. More inane blathering and inconsequential nonsense. Some run-on sentences. General decrease of quality as writing enthusiasm wanes.

Tie-in to Cooper. Flippant remark to conclude.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

please standby

hello all,

Please forgive me for my infrequent blogs, but I just started a new job and moved my family from new albany, IN to Northern Dearborn County, IN.

Not only do I not have a ISP at home yet, I don't have the luxury of writing blogs at work. So, this here blog might be in the middle of a downward spiral directly into hell.

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