Friday, January 19, 2007

How to ruin a perfectly good finger

At one point in my life, my middle finger on my left hand was in good working order. It could poke, manipulate, gesture, flick, and point. The nail was a suitable length and neatly bitten. It would glisten in the sun.

Now it is stubby, and ugly, and the nail is only about a 1/2 inch long. (I measured) It is a laughing-fest for my other 9 fingers and often has to be roused out of stints of deep morose.

As promised in this blog, I wanted to tell you the story of how it came to be this way.

but first, a Horrifying picture:





This is what my finger looked like about 2 weeks after running the sumbitch through a router. It essentially cut a dato in my finger and destroyed the bone right along with it.

the thing in the end is a pin that they shoved in the end to keep the end from falling off. the silver nail-looking thing is a peice of metal they put under my skin to keep my skin from growing over my nail bed.

you will notice that my index finger is bleeding. That was a walk in the park compared to the middle finger. it basically just had the nail cut through. However, the middle finger went straight up satan's asshole.

They say that losing parts of your hand is one of the most alarming parts of your body to lose. I guess that is becasue they are your primary feeling devices. Of course, I didn't lose entire fingers at the first knuckle, but it was a tad jolt to look down (after feeling a numb sting) and see somethign that looked like this:


I am not exaggerating.

This happened because I was not paying attention and I set up the guard on the router table wrong. The peice of wood I was running through the router pinched between the router blade and the guard and launched it across the room (20 feet). My hand was holding the wood, and was pulled into the blade, the rest is history.

Fortunatly, I went to Kutz and Kleinerts at Jewish Hospital (in Louisville), which is arguably one the best hand surgery clinics in the country. I don't remember much, but I do remember my friends coming pre-surgery and not seeming that impressed with the amount of carnage they saw, and the surgeon trimming my finger bones down to "something he can work with". It sounded alot like the sounds that finger nail clippers make. I didn't ask if he was using finger nail clippers, but I really should have.

Fucking ouch!
Nice graphic.
2st Kutz and Kleinert, the fixed my dad's wrist up real nice like after he shattered it in a tragic fall.
I like the long coagulated drip of blood on your index finger. You should have had them permanently install a sharp metal fingernail for various utilitarin purposes and self defense.
the grossest part was finding and cleaning up the trail of shavings. it was like being in a meat processing plant.
Are you serious? I never knew about that part. you should have saved it. Allz I rememeber seeing is a tiny fragment of bone.

I ate it, and thus the circle of life is complete.
it was interspursed with sawdust and other detritus. with the overall trauma of the event, i didnt want to freak you out.

although, now that i think of it, you could have made some glue out of it and used it to finish the project - that would have really completed the circle!
How about and update on your finger? How's it healing?
I am not sure if anyone is going to see this but me, but to answer your question, it is fine. it looks kinda stubby, and the pad on my finger is kinda "fleshy", I guess because there is extra skin there.

functionally, it is about the same. i still have feeling, and it is just about 1/2 shorter.

I have problems sometimes when i rock/wall climb, which i don't do that often at all anymore.
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