mindsquirt

Hello. This post is tough to explain, but pretty funny. First some background:

For those of you who don't know, I am presently working on my master's thesis in Biomedical Engineering. I won't get into the details, but it requires a great deal of programming, something I am not the best at. As my code editor, I use a program called "emacs". It has some built in games. I have been working all day on one small insignifigant part of my thesis and have basically gotten no where, and I was very frustrated. In order to blow off some steam, I thought I would play some of the games. I found a "game" on emacs called "Psychotherapist". Basically you type in a sentence, and it interacts with you as though it is a real person. What follows is my interaction with the "Psychotherapist". I want to emphasize that I didn't change this in anyway, even though it might look like it. This guy was really asking me all these questions and I was answering them as you see. But, I did highlight the "Doctor's" questions in red for easy reading.

I don't think my smart aleky responses are half as funny as some of the stuff he says. Make sure to keep in mind that I am talking to a computer program... Also know that I blindly found this program, and I wasn't sure what it was at first. If it helps, imagine me relunctanly laying on a theripist lounge-couch-thingie with a robot with a sports jacket and a pipe counciling me.

make sure to say everythign in red in a robot voice.


I am the psychotherapist. Please, describe your problems. Each
time you are finished talking, type RET twice.

i love this stuff

I would appreciate it if you would tell me about your
relationship with this.

help

Can you elaborate on that?

help me

Why do you say help you?

because I am sick of this horseshit

Is it because you are sick of this horseshit that you came to me?

yes

I see... Well, what makes you believe this is so?

because i am sick of programing

Does it bother you that you are sick of programing?

yes

Yes, hmmm... so, are you sure that this is so?

yes

I understand. So do you really think this is so?

yes

Oh. ...And what makes you think this is so?

because it is tedious

When did you first know that it is tedious?

when i felt liek jumping of a bridge

What happened when you felt liek jumping of a bridge?

i almost did it.

Earlier you said you love this?

i was being sarcastic dumbass. did they not cover that when you
went to medical school?

Talk about your school.

oh, I see, I must have struck a nerve! A little sensitve about
Medical School Doc?

Maybe your plans have something to do with this.

not likely.

Is it because of your life that you say not likely?

wait a second, what are you saying? That my life sucks because I
didn't go to medical school? yeesh, you sure are an elisist...

You mentioned that you are sick of this horseshit?

Fine... yes. I hate it.

Why do you hate it?

I thought we went over this. IT is tedious. pay attention.

Is it because of the people you hang around with that you are
going through all this?

not really.

Why do you say not really?

because the people I hang out with don't peer pressure me into
programming.

Is the fact that the people you hang out with do not peer
pressure you into programming the real reason?

what? That makes no sense.

Perhaps you could continue.

that's it, I am leaving

What makes you believe you are sick of programing?

well....

Go on, don't be afraid.

I am hesitating because I am trying to phrase this in a way that
you will understand.

Does the fact that you are trying to phrase this in a way that I
will understand explain anything else?

It explains alot about this visit.

How do you reconcile problems at school?

this is a problem at school.

Are you annoyed that your grades could improve?

my grades are good.

Are you afraid of grades?

no

Why not?

well, I guess I want to get good grades...

Perhaps this has something to do with to your attitude.

I'm leaving.

Is it because of any hobbies you have that you say you are
leaving?

ah Jesus...

Earlier you said it is tedious?

I'm leaving. bye

My secretary will send you a bill.

bye

Bye bye.