mindsquirt

hey everyone, did you hear that The Donald & Melania are expecting? Wowie-wow-wow that is a juicy tidbit!

I mean, Donald Trump is awesome!!
when he fires people on his show and strips them of all dignity in front of millions? that is entertainment!

but wait, here is another hum-dinger:

Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher finally got married!! I love those two cuties! That hunky Ashton Kutcher is in all of the movies I love most! "Dude, Where is my Car" was a instant classic and national treasure. And I certainly need to know about their material status, b/c if they wern't married by now, I would close my eyes when they came on.

whenever I run across stuff like this, I have to actually proclaim to myself that I don't care. Sometimes, I even say it out loud. I think I do this because people on the radio, TV, magazine, internet, telegram, etc, reel me in for the first couple of seconds, and then I realize that I don't care, then I have to shock myself out of paying attention to it by saying something brash, like "OH MY GOD I don't care!" They usually get to me by acting like this gossip is some urgent news flash, and I am like, "I better listen to this, sounds important", and then they talk about Britney Spears, or Urkle, or whatever, and I have to psych myself out.

That being said, sometimes I will still watch/read some of it just to make sure I still hate it.

Sometimes I do this with food. I try food that I hate to make sure I still hate it. I do this with fish and mushrooms. I don't know why.

Before I get into the crux of this post, I really should say that I hate Tara Reid and Paris Hilton with a firery passion. For some reason, they are now America's sweethearts. One is most famous for filming naked sex all the while being a talentless rich snob, and the other is famous for entertainment-free movies and having her boob slap out while on the red carpet. Good work gals, you are really setting the bar high for America. These are what sweet, innocent little girls have to look up to. I guess I am kinda beating around the bush, b/c that isn't what bugs me about them. What bugs me is that they successfuly overshadow their stupidity with how good looking and trendy they are, and young impressionable girls see this and think this is how their life should be. I can see a landscape of girls captivated in front of the TV watching paris hilton in "the simple life" describing her milk-maid overalls as "so not hot".

What?
Shut the hell up paris! Go to some island where you won't bother us anymore!

and all the little impressionable girls think in their simple little girl way:

fashion - work - intelligence + snobby bitch = radical!

that really is the take home message. then they look at me, or the future me, and say: "up yours dad, taking out the trash is so not hot." Then they rush to their room and wonder why their dad wants them to be smart and work hard while discarding all of the non-designer clothes( not hot) and shoes (sooo not hot)... and I rush to my room and sob on my pillow.

I am not basing this off of these charming celebs either. Have you seen cable TV? there are more shows than i can count on one hand about spoiled little rich kids. I seriously wrote a note to myself on the fridge to watch "wealthy cattle drive" so i can renew my hatred for one of the little doushebags on it.

check this out: I accidently wandered on to this site when I was looking for a Mr. Burns quote on the internet :http://www.25hoursonline.com/.

Let me share this quote with you from the site:

"Actress Tara Reid promises she has finally got her "hooters under control." Talking of the incident when she flashed her left breast while on the red carpet last year, Reid says "You would think my boob had popped out and shot Gandhi!" "


What?

that quote is for the ages.

I don't know how to even begin criticizing this statement. I really don't. The fact that Gandhi has been dead for at least 40 years is a good start. Also, why Gandhi? Why not Napolean? Or some other hisorical figure that is tucked away in the rich tapestry of knowledge that is Tara Reid's brain?

how about santa clause?

SURE!

that sounds like a good bet Tara! I am pretty sure everyone would be upset with you if your boob shot santa clause. everyone loves santa clause. Pick him next time.

Tara...
In the future when you describe the public's reaction to your inane antics, try to reference your boob killing fictional characters adored by children far and wide, and not the boob-assissination of a beloved nonviolent resistance leader that has been dead for years.


wait!
lets start small and work up... but... we want to maintain the stuipidity of your last statement...
how about your boob shooting the other boob? that shouldn't be hard to remember Tara. its easy! you have two of them, ya know.


"Hi, my name is Tara,and sometimes my boob just flops right out!"








If I were her, I would try to keep my mouth shut.