Sunday, October 23, 2005

supermarket happy times

I don't know about you, but I find it impossible not to ride on the supermarket cart on the way of the supermarket. Today, I tried to think about a time where I haven't done it, I couldn't think of one instance.

I am nutty with it I tells ya. I do it even when there are perils like oncoming cars or pedestrians. I always incorporate two methods into my riding of carts. One, I always stop my self fred-flinstone style by dragging my feet. Two, I always lean to one side in an effort to steer it. This has never worked, but I still do as though it does.

until today. Today began a new chapter in my life really. I realized that you can get the cart to steer halfway well by kicking your feet behind you and in the direction you want to go. for those of you down with climbing lingo, it is similar to a flag. For those of you who are picturing me doing full kicks into the air while riding on the back of a cart, it doesn't look as stuipid as it sounds. If i want to turn right, I kick my left foot backward and to the left and kinda twist my whole body.

this is sweet because it really proloings the time i can spend on the cart i think. usually, i have to bail b/c i start to veer into something, but this should really help me stay on. Isn't that great! I know that seems insignifigant, but doing stuff like that at the supermarket is one of the only fun parts, and it was nice to find something to make it better. It is like when you find a song you really like on a CD you have had for a while and you never knew exsisted.

So, in summary, this is a day that will forever change my life. there was pre flag-turning of grocery carts years of my life and post flag-turning of grocery carts years. we have all had these kinds of epiphanies.

also, for those of you that don't know, you can ride on the front of the cart, and push it so the cart is going in the opposite way it is intended to go, and you will usually go about 4 feet and then the thing will do a sweet 180 and keep going. that is really an expert move though, so use your best judgement. also, make sure to be in a wide asile with no stand-up things (or witnesses in case you knock something over, I have had bad experiences).

I also hate it when people pronounce grocery "gross-er-re" instead of "grosh-er-re".

That is all.

Comments:
i too know the joys of the grocery cart. my recent injuries curtailed my cart rides, but i am back in full force! there are few over the age of 12 that share our love of the sport, but to those who scoff i say crawl in your hole and die.

while you get style points for your creative steering technique, you have missed the best way to change the attitude of your rig. most carts have a clevis to which the rear wheels are mounted - this is a perfect perch to rest ones feet for a nice ride. however, you will also find that you can drag your heel on the wheel to create enough drag to very effectively maneuver. heavy application of both feet brings you to halt.

so now you have the tools to become a world class g-carter. we have competitions on the first saturday morning of the month at the kroger near home. we line up the plethora of seniors doing their weekly shopping on the substancial downhill slope of the parking lot and have timed slalom trials. we cap that with a high speed distance run. on my best day i made it all the way to where the old green scene was. one hapless competitor was killed that day by a wayward truck. we will miss him.
 
holy smokes! i didn't even think about the single wheel braking technique. however, that should slow you down a smidge, which doesn't happen with my techinque. but i could see how it would be more maneurveable. i guess you have to trade better turning for speed.

that hill at krogers is sweet. the one here is flat.

we should get matching g-carters temporary tattos. or decoder rings.

i just remembered one day i was jacking around on a cart and tumped the entire thing over full of groceries. that was embarrasing. recently i have been driving the carts off of the curb in front of krogers to get to my car faster.(not with me on them) they are totally not meant to take that kind of abuse, but i believe in pushing the envelope. next time i will see if they can survive that with me on em'. expect a full report.
 
holy smokes! i didn't even think about the single wheel braking technique. however, that should slow you down a smidge, which doesn't happen with my techinque. but i could see how it would be more maneurveable. i guess you have to trade better turning for speed.

that hill at krogers is sweet. the one here is flat.

we should get matching g-carters temporary tattos. or decoder rings.

i just remembered one day i was jacking around on a cart and tumped the entire thing over full of groceries. that was embarrasing. recently i have been driving the carts off of the curb in front of krogers to get to my car faster.(not with me on them) they are totally not meant to take that kind of abuse, but i believe in pushing the envelope. next time i will see if they can survive that with me on em'. expect a full report.
 
That reminds me of the time in Bloomington when a posessed cart exited the Kroger parking lot. We followed slowly in our car in disbelief as it went downhill, across the street and further down the street until it finally hit a patch of grass. It must have travelled 60+ yard.
 
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