Thursday, July 30, 2009
I'd like to show some support to myself
In the last few minutes, I decided I'd like to be the kind of person who puts bumper stickers on my car.
Up until now, I have been very bumper sticker adverse on my new car. I think that the reason is that I have mostly viewed bumper stickers strictly as a way to express something to other people. The people immediately behind you, I guess. Plus, they are kinda fugly.
Anyway, who cares? I am soundly indifferent about the strangers in front of me and their views on religion, evolution, abortion, politics, or witty slogans.* Or the mother ship of bad bumper stickers, a Calvin peeing on Ford or Chevy symbol. Awwwwww man, don't get me started on that pointless redneck contest.
Also, all of these non-military magnetic ribbons. Yuck. I think Bean said it best in this blog that people should "stop showing their support"**.
So, you can see I feel pretty strongly about not using my car's aft as a means to advertise pointless blather***.
HOWEVER!
I have came to the conclusion, again, about 5 minutes ago, that I could use bumper stickers as a means to communicate with myself. Sounds crazy, I know. Hear me out here, folks.
Let me let you in on a little secret. At many times in my life I purposely send signals to myself to serve as a reminder for something important that I'd rather not do.
For instance, for the semester-long final stretch for my thesis defense, I grew out my beard. The idea was that I would see myself in the mirror and it would remind me to stop procrastinating and finish my manuscript! Plus it kinda got unruly and nasty and kept people from bothering me at Panera.
Another example is putting a reading nook in my bedroom. I rarely use it to read now, and I knew I wouldn't, but it reminds me daily about the importance of books.
The bumper stickers are a similar idea.
The reminder I need is about my health. You see, I am a believer that there are 3 themes in life that are in direct conflict with one another: health, family, and career. The maxim goes: You are only allowed to pick two. Some people pick none. But the most you can do well, are two. As I look at everyone around me, this is pretty true.
In my quest for balance these three themes, I think these reminders will urge me to improve my fitness. Again, this came at me like a revelation from God, and almost knocked me out of my chair, a mere five-to-ten minutes ago.
Yes, it will do nicely. So, I am thinking some choice pro-fitness decals and stickers should work. This way, when I walk to my car after work, I will be reminded to go to the gym, or take a bikeride or run before going home to eat pizza, drink beer, and fart into the couch. This will really prove my committment to myself, since it is at odds with the part of me that dislikes bumperstickers and the like.
I hope this doesn't sound too crazy. I really would hate it if we weren't friends anymore.
This means I will probably finally put up my imba and Cannondale decals, but not necessarily my ChildFund or Ill Mitch ones.
So, are we on the same page here people? I know this is a difficult concept, but I swear I just can't make this post any longer.
* I commented to my wife last night that I am going to make an effort to use the word slogan more. I think we can all agree that it is a great word.
** Like Bean, I condone the use of said ribbons for showing support for our soldiers.
*** blather is another good one.
Up until now, I have been very bumper sticker adverse on my new car. I think that the reason is that I have mostly viewed bumper stickers strictly as a way to express something to other people. The people immediately behind you, I guess. Plus, they are kinda fugly.
Anyway, who cares? I am soundly indifferent about the strangers in front of me and their views on religion, evolution, abortion, politics, or witty slogans.* Or the mother ship of bad bumper stickers, a Calvin peeing on Ford or Chevy symbol. Awwwwww man, don't get me started on that pointless redneck contest.
Also, all of these non-military magnetic ribbons. Yuck. I think Bean said it best in this blog that people should "stop showing their support"**.
So, you can see I feel pretty strongly about not using my car's aft as a means to advertise pointless blather***.
HOWEVER!
I have came to the conclusion, again, about 5 minutes ago, that I could use bumper stickers as a means to communicate with myself. Sounds crazy, I know. Hear me out here, folks.
Let me let you in on a little secret. At many times in my life I purposely send signals to myself to serve as a reminder for something important that I'd rather not do.
For instance, for the semester-long final stretch for my thesis defense, I grew out my beard. The idea was that I would see myself in the mirror and it would remind me to stop procrastinating and finish my manuscript! Plus it kinda got unruly and nasty and kept people from bothering me at Panera.
Another example is putting a reading nook in my bedroom. I rarely use it to read now, and I knew I wouldn't, but it reminds me daily about the importance of books.
The bumper stickers are a similar idea.
The reminder I need is about my health. You see, I am a believer that there are 3 themes in life that are in direct conflict with one another: health, family, and career. The maxim goes: You are only allowed to pick two. Some people pick none. But the most you can do well, are two. As I look at everyone around me, this is pretty true.
In my quest for balance these three themes, I think these reminders will urge me to improve my fitness. Again, this came at me like a revelation from God, and almost knocked me out of my chair, a mere five-to-ten minutes ago.
Yes, it will do nicely. So, I am thinking some choice pro-fitness decals and stickers should work. This way, when I walk to my car after work, I will be reminded to go to the gym, or take a bikeride or run before going home to eat pizza, drink beer, and fart into the couch. This will really prove my committment to myself, since it is at odds with the part of me that dislikes bumperstickers and the like.
I hope this doesn't sound too crazy. I really would hate it if we weren't friends anymore.
This means I will probably finally put up my imba and Cannondale decals, but not necessarily my ChildFund or Ill Mitch ones.
So, are we on the same page here people? I know this is a difficult concept, but I swear I just can't make this post any longer.
* I commented to my wife last night that I am going to make an effort to use the word slogan more. I think we can all agree that it is a great word.
** Like Bean, I condone the use of said ribbons for showing support for our soldiers.
*** blather is another good one.
# posted by fooiemcgoo : 5:22 PM
Comments:
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I think that if you put a bumper sticker on your car, it will just become like part of the car and you will stop noticing it after a couple of days. This foils your plan, and you are left still unfit with an ugly pointless sticker on your otherwise pristine car. Do you really actually think about reading every time you see your nook? My guess is that by now it is just part of the general bedroom scenery.
Plus, it might cause Fitness Dudes to strike up conversations with you at Panera. That would suck.
I still enjoyed reading this post.
PS. I have a magnetic Texas flag that I bought for my car when I first moved here and they took away my Texas plates, but it's in a junk drawer.
Sorry for blathering in your comment section.
Plus, it might cause Fitness Dudes to strike up conversations with you at Panera. That would suck.
I still enjoyed reading this post.
PS. I have a magnetic Texas flag that I bought for my car when I first moved here and they took away my Texas plates, but it's in a junk drawer.
Sorry for blathering in your comment section.
naw man. you got it all wrong.
the reason it will work, is because it is opposed to the part about me that hates bumperstickers. that will make me notice it.
the reason it will work, is because it is opposed to the part about me that hates bumperstickers. that will make me notice it.
The best word is Ubiquitous. For the plan to succeed you must seek ubiquitousness, so you can see the sticker everywhere. Not a goal to take on lightly.
One outcome would be motivated by the plethora of ubiquitous sticker slatherers who agree with you ... you all get jacked on energy drinks, get super-fit together, have oodles and gobs of that peppy kind of fervor people get sometimes. And before you know it you are a cult and live together on a farm.
Then, you start merchandising the Ubiquitous stickers. Everyone seems to want one and it makes them a happier person to own one. Cool! Next a ubiquitous neckerchief, and you make Cooper the Ubiquitous dog and put him on T-Shits, Hats ... he really MUST be a bobblehead ...
The money starts to roll in and you now get to hire all your friends!
In the end, you are ubiquitized by your own ubiquitousness ... it is ubiquitous! Then to save your sanity you turn to reading Star Magazine and following Brad and Angelina EVERY DAY. Through the Star Horoscope you are enlightened that you are hopelessly OCD and that if it hadn't been ubiquitous bumper stickers it might have been distilling sea urchin juice to improve memory expansion.
But, lucky fir you, the ubiquitous bumper sticker will pay for your kids to go to college.
Glad you thought of it. Right on.
One outcome would be motivated by the plethora of ubiquitous sticker slatherers who agree with you ... you all get jacked on energy drinks, get super-fit together, have oodles and gobs of that peppy kind of fervor people get sometimes. And before you know it you are a cult and live together on a farm.
Then, you start merchandising the Ubiquitous stickers. Everyone seems to want one and it makes them a happier person to own one. Cool! Next a ubiquitous neckerchief, and you make Cooper the Ubiquitous dog and put him on T-Shits, Hats ... he really MUST be a bobblehead ...
The money starts to roll in and you now get to hire all your friends!
In the end, you are ubiquitized by your own ubiquitousness ... it is ubiquitous! Then to save your sanity you turn to reading Star Magazine and following Brad and Angelina EVERY DAY. Through the Star Horoscope you are enlightened that you are hopelessly OCD and that if it hadn't been ubiquitous bumper stickers it might have been distilling sea urchin juice to improve memory expansion.
But, lucky fir you, the ubiquitous bumper sticker will pay for your kids to go to college.
Glad you thought of it. Right on.
The best word is Ubiquitous. For the plan to succeed you must seek ubiquitousness, so you can see the sticker everywhere. Not a goal to take on lightly.
One outcome would be motivated by the plethora of ubiquitous sticker slatherers who agree with you ... you all get jacked on energy drinks, get super-fit together, have oodles and gobs of that peppy kind of fervor people get sometimes. And before you know it you are a cult and live together on a farm.
Then, you start merchandising the Ubiquitous stickers. Everyone seems to want one and it makes them a happier person to own one. Cool! Next a ubiquitous neckerchief, and you make Cooper the Ubiquitous dog and put him on T-Shits, Hats ... he really MUST be a bobblehead ...
The money starts to roll in and you now get to hire all your friends!
In the end, you are ubiquitized by your own ubiquitousness ... it is ubiquitous! Then to save your sanity you turn to reading Star Magazine and following Brad and Angelina EVERY DAY. Through the Star Horoscope you are enlightened that you are hopelessly OCD and that if it hadn't been ubiquitous bumper stickers it might have been distilling sea urchin juice to improve memory expansion.
But, lucky fir you, the ubiquitous bumper sticker will pay for your kids to go to college.
Glad you thought of it. Right on.
One outcome would be motivated by the plethora of ubiquitous sticker slatherers who agree with you ... you all get jacked on energy drinks, get super-fit together, have oodles and gobs of that peppy kind of fervor people get sometimes. And before you know it you are a cult and live together on a farm.
Then, you start merchandising the Ubiquitous stickers. Everyone seems to want one and it makes them a happier person to own one. Cool! Next a ubiquitous neckerchief, and you make Cooper the Ubiquitous dog and put him on T-Shits, Hats ... he really MUST be a bobblehead ...
The money starts to roll in and you now get to hire all your friends!
In the end, you are ubiquitized by your own ubiquitousness ... it is ubiquitous! Then to save your sanity you turn to reading Star Magazine and following Brad and Angelina EVERY DAY. Through the Star Horoscope you are enlightened that you are hopelessly OCD and that if it hadn't been ubiquitous bumper stickers it might have been distilling sea urchin juice to improve memory expansion.
But, lucky fir you, the ubiquitous bumper sticker will pay for your kids to go to college.
Glad you thought of it. Right on.
dave, should my bumper sticker or magnet be "support thyself"?
that should make me at least rich enough to afford unused underpants.
that should make me at least rich enough to afford unused underpants.
I am a blogger moron ... the only way I can get this to post is anonymously ... but it's really Goostermon ...
Glad you liked it ... I had fun writing it, although I must admit I was in a sleep-deprived overworked state, and I wasn't sure anybody but me would think it was funny.
No ... the sticker should be (in big letters) UBIQUITOUS and then (in small letters underneath, in parentheses, italicized and all lower case) "please put these everywhere"
In the tiny gap between now and when you are rollin' in dough from the sticker sales, stop by and see me and I'll spot you ten bucks so you can have some brand spankin' new Fruit of the Looms.
In all seriousness, I had a real good time when you and your lovely Melissa met me and my lovely Susan for lunch. Would twice in 5 years be too often to repeat? Oh yeah, and there was the time at Rocky's with Bean and BB too ... both very enjoyable. I dig you guys and would love to see you.
Glad you liked it ... I had fun writing it, although I must admit I was in a sleep-deprived overworked state, and I wasn't sure anybody but me would think it was funny.
No ... the sticker should be (in big letters) UBIQUITOUS and then (in small letters underneath, in parentheses, italicized and all lower case) "please put these everywhere"
In the tiny gap between now and when you are rollin' in dough from the sticker sales, stop by and see me and I'll spot you ten bucks so you can have some brand spankin' new Fruit of the Looms.
In all seriousness, I had a real good time when you and your lovely Melissa met me and my lovely Susan for lunch. Would twice in 5 years be too often to repeat? Oh yeah, and there was the time at Rocky's with Bean and BB too ... both very enjoyable. I dig you guys and would love to see you.
# posted by 
: 10:31 PM
: 10:31 PM
oh, i get it now.
we should get together sometime. I'll talk to your son about it or something next time i am in town. i like to see him too.
we are due for our 2nd in about 8 weeks, so things could get pretty serious here soon.
we should get together sometime. I'll talk to your son about it or something next time i am in town. i like to see him too.
we are due for our 2nd in about 8 weeks, so things could get pretty serious here soon.
I thoroughly enjoyed reading your post as well, it reminded me of something that happend to me or rather to my car a few years back.
One sunny florida afternoon I was minding my own business driving down the road when I was pulled over... aparently my license plate had decidedly taken leave of my car. How this happened we still do not know, either by falling, jumping, or the act of theft.
I had not noticed this, and the policeman was polite about the matter.
He was also very polite in informing me that my license plate had been retrieved from a stolen car more than two weeks previously. Aparently they had sent me a notification in the mail.. (?)
SO.. my point is simple. How often do you in fact look at the back of your car? Before you stick, take a small talley over the next few days about how often you would see your inspirations on any given day. You may find yourself surprised.
Good luck all the same.
And never underestimate the importance of coming home to drink beer and fart into the couch. Allow yourself that small pleasure every once in a while.
This is Jerusha
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One sunny florida afternoon I was minding my own business driving down the road when I was pulled over... aparently my license plate had decidedly taken leave of my car. How this happened we still do not know, either by falling, jumping, or the act of theft.
I had not noticed this, and the policeman was polite about the matter.
He was also very polite in informing me that my license plate had been retrieved from a stolen car more than two weeks previously. Aparently they had sent me a notification in the mail.. (?)
SO.. my point is simple. How often do you in fact look at the back of your car? Before you stick, take a small talley over the next few days about how often you would see your inspirations on any given day. You may find yourself surprised.
Good luck all the same.
And never underestimate the importance of coming home to drink beer and fart into the couch. Allow yourself that small pleasure every once in a while.
This is Jerusha
# posted by : 6:12 AM
: 6:12 AM<< Home
